5 Tips to Conquer Fear and Anxiety this Fall

5 Tips to Conquer Fear this Fall

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Has fear been holding you back from creating what you want this year?

Is it getting in the way of your daily happiness and well-being?

Often, this time of year can trigger additional fear and anxiety that we may still have in our system from the past.

Whether it stems from past experiences of “back to school” or a deeper, primal “winter is coming” instinct, we sense that transition is nigh. Shorter, darker days and colder weather are on their way, carrying us to the year’s end.

It’s also the time many of us begin to reflect on our year and all that has (or hasn’t!) happened. We get antsy and afraid when we don’t see the progress we intended for ourselves in various areas of our life like work, health, finances or relationship.

But let’s face it, fear is rampant in our society all year long. It is most often triggered by our mental/emotional state, so our ability to manage that state is key. The strategies shared in this post are useful now and any time of year.

But first, WHY do we want to conquer or prevent fear in the first place?

Fear causes the release of stress hormones in the brain. These hormones suppress our immune system and acidify our bodies, making us more susceptible to disease. They also accelerate our aging process by shortening our telomeres (the part of our DNA molecules that dictate how youthful and vibrant we are).

Fear also causes us to act and react in ways that are destructive in our lives. We avoid, sabotage, lash out, play small etc. and so there’s a huge ripple effect in our relationships and personal success when we don’t manage these unruly emotions!

Fear just isn’t fun. Nor does it feel good.

So as you move into fall (and beyond), I invite you to use these top 5 strategies to manage your own fear :

1. Meditate Daily (maybe even twice!)

The best way to conquer fear is to prevent it in the first place. Even a short, regular meditation practice has a significant effect on reducing fear and anxiety.  Meditation is designed to still our mental images and direct our attention to the infinite divine space within and around us. Focusing on that space brings us into a state of presence and awareness, allowing us to rest in peace and calm. The more we practice focusing on that eternal space, the more easily we can exist in presence and awareness in our day-to-day life. The less we focus on unnecessary thoughts, the lower the chance that those thoughts will trigger fear.

2. Walk Through your Fears

When you feel afraid, ask yourself: what, exactly, am I afraid of and why? Explore the details of the fear and see what deeper fears are hiding underneath that. For instance, you may be afraid to speak on stage. When you examine why, you may discover that you are really afraid of forgetting your words. Deeper still, may lie the fear that you will be laughed at. When you get to the deepest layer of your fear, imagine that reality actually playing out! Imagine being laughed at and then ask yourself: what would I do in that situation? How would you get through it, how would you recover? Would it really be that bad that you could not recover? Usually it’s not. When you realize you are actually capable of handling  the situation you are most afraid of, it diminishes the whole chain of fears.

3. Create Pressure

Fear is triggered when our attention is focused on untrue or unnecessary thoughts.  Interestingly, our attention can’t resist focusing on one thing over anything else (including thoughts): physical pressure. Our attention is most attracted to a pressure sensation in the body, because pressure indicates possible physical danger! When we create pressure by taking deep breaths or squeezing our hands together, we redirect our attention momentarily AWAY from the thought that’s causing fear. This gives as a moment to refocus on an improved thought. In our speaking on stage example, fear comes when we focus on how many people are out there that may laugh at us. By taking a deep breath and holding it, we stop can focusing on this thought for an instant and actively refocus our attention on, say, how well-prepared we are, thus diffusing the fear before going on!

4. Overhaul your Belief System

Our belief system is the ocean of stories that our thoughts bubble up from. Ninety-five percent of our belief system is made up of stories that we didn’t even consciously choose as true but that we inherited from other people or the media. That means we believe a lot of things that probably aren’t true and that trigger fear-based thinking. Common untrue beliefs at the root of our fears include: I’m not safe, I can’t manage, I’m not lovable and there’s not enough. In order to eradicate these beliefs (and the thoughts and feelings that arise from them) we can actively examine and rebuild our belief systems. It may sound like a daunting task, but there are logical tools and systems that my clients learn in our work together that make this overhaul easy and effective in removing fear for life! 

5. Stay Heart-Centered

When we are fully experiencing love, fear can not exist. Love and fear sit on either end of the same experiential continuum. The more we are focused on love and love-based thinking the less room there is for fear. Choosing love is a moment-to-moment game that takes mental and emotional awareness. When fear arises, identify the thought or belief that is active and then aggressively seek a love-based thought instead. For example, when we realize we are afraid of being laughed at on stage, we can put our hand on our heart and send out love to every single person in the audience, even if they DO laugh at us. By loving them, we are safe from fear because love transmutes everything and everyone into itself. If you fully love the person who laughs at you, there is no room to fear them or their actions. Powerful, huh?

So which strategy will you try first? I’d love to hear about your experiences conquering fear –  message me on Facebook with your questions or comments here!

 

Much love,

Bec xoxo

 

PS. Ready to eliminate fear for good so you can create your deepest desires? Apply for a free 30-minute Discovery Session with me to find out how a coaching program will help you.

 

An Astonishing Formula for More Happiness

An Astonishing Formula for More Happiness

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You know those tidbits of wisdom that you get every now and then that completely change your life?

The ones that pop into a random conversation, sparkle in a magazine at the doctor’s office or show up in a blog post you click onto 😉

This post is about one of those tidbits that was eye-opening for me and made me see EVERYTHING in a different light: my relationships, my wealth and, of course…my happiness.

 

It’s called Pareto’s Law. Or more commonly The 80/20 Principle.

It’s actually a mathematical formula discovered by an economist in the late 19th century that describes a predictable (and astonishingly uneven) distribution of input against output.

You may have heard the phrase, “20% of the population produces and holds 80% of the world’s wealth.” This is Pareto’s Law.

What is remarkable about this law is that it pervades all areas of life and can be found expressed almost everywhere: in our relationship dynamics, our health habits, our bank accounts,  even our emotional state.

  • 20% of relationships cause 80% of our relationship grief.
  • 20% of the food in our fridge goes into 80% of our healthiest meals.
  • 20% of our business activities generate 80% of our income.
  • 20% of our thoughts trigger 80% of our deepest joy and happiness.

 

So how to we use this principle to optimize happiness in our life?

Take a moment and consider where Pareto’s Law is showing up in your life. I guarantee you it’s there, although it expresses itself uniquely for all of us.

Take a magnifying glass to your biggest current issues in life and you will find YOUR expressions of Pareto’s Law.

Are you avoiding the 20% of conversations (personal or professional) that would give you 80% of your freedom? Do you still hang out with that 20% of people that trigger 80% of your frustration?

Are you allowing yourself to buy 20% of the foods that contribute to 80% of your physical issues? What about the 20% of actions that you know give you 80% of your health and vitality, are you scheduling them in?

Are you spending 20% of your money on 80% of things you really don’t need? Spending 20% of your time on 80% of things that aren’t important?

Are you skipping 20% of the daily inner energy management – meditation, belief rewiring, emotional processing – that is the foundation for 80% of your success?

 

The magic happens when we IDENTIFY that percentage that needs to be addressed in order for us to break our happiness barriers – and then really ADDRESS that percentage. Commit to those actions, step away from those relationships, do more of the actions that feed our bank accounts, create accountability to support us in improved choices at the check out counter!

 

I’d love to hear how Pareto’s Law is showing up for you! Feel free to post on our Facebook page to share…chances are many of us have similar patterns we could support each other around!

 

Much love,

Bec xoxo

PS. Did you know 6 months of working together can break you through to your greatest happiness for life? 80% of your happiness is caused by 20% of your life skill set. To find out how to obtain the skill set your need (for you and your family), apply for a free chat with me here.

 

 

The #1 Cause of Our Unhappiness

The #1 Cause of Our Unhappiness

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Have you ever had a moment when you’ve felt completely happy from the inside out?

At peace, full, grateful, relaxed…just good?

Do you find having moments like this are few and far between, elusive even?

This may surprise you, but I have spoken to people who don’t ever recall having such a moment: free of fear, stress, struggle, anxiety or negative emotion.

Imagine. Not even a single moment. :(

Growing up, well before discovering the art and science of happiness, I remember a handful of moments where I experienced spontaneous, unsolicited happiness. I called these moments Joy Bubbles. They fascinated me because of how expansive and powerful they were, but I never understood how they arose or further more, how to create or sustain them.

Years of studying my own personal happiness and well-being though, led me to discover the root of these Joy Bubbles and, conversely, the root of what caused the other 99% of my life in struggle and quiet suffering.

So what causes our moments of inner happiness?

Enoughness.

You probably already understand that how we feel is directly caused by what we are thinking and believing.

And, if we are not intentionally managing our thinking and believing, our subconscious goes into auto-drive and has us thinking what it has been programmed to activate.

There is a single thought that is over-programmed in our collective belief system that is causing a global experience of scarcity and thus unhappiness: There’s not enough.

It takes many forms.

I’m not enough, it’s not enough, they’re not enough, I don’t have, know, do enough, I need more, even there’s too much (which means there’s not enough of the opposite!)

Recall the last time you felt uneasy or unhappy. See if you can remember what you were thinking or what belief was triggered in that situation. There’s a 99% chance it was a thought about not-enoughness.

Take a moment and read these words… and really mean them:

I am enough.

I always have been and always will be.

I have enough, I do enough, I know enough.

There is enough of all I need and I have enough access to it always.

All is enough.

Did you notice a subtle peace and relaxation wash over you? Relief? A Joy Bubble perhaps?

The tricky part of all this is most of us won‘t believe that “enoughness” is real. We don’t believe that there really is enough for us, for all of us. That we are enough no matter what. The collective story is so deep, so vast, so rampant, we fall back into our default thinking patterns that there isn’t enough.

We get trapped in a cycle of believing in (and reinforcing) the “reality” of lack and scarcity and so, through the divine Law of Attraction, our lives seem never to be enough. This is the root of our unhappiness.

This  is an invitation for you to consider a new belief: what if you are enough just as you are, what if there is enough for you, what if believing these things is the first step to perceiving and experiencing them as the norm in your reality?

Believe it and you WILL see it. When all is enough, we can finally relax into our most profound joy and peace.

Much love and enoughness,

Bec xoxo

PS. If you are interested in learning the skill set that frees you from unhappiness for life, please apply for a free 30-minute Discovery Session with me here.