The #1 Cause of Our Unhappiness

The #1 Cause of Our Unhappiness

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Have you ever had a moment when you’ve felt completely happy from the inside out?

At peace, full, grateful, relaxed…just good?

Do you find having moments like this are few and far between, elusive even?

This may surprise you, but I have spoken to people who don’t ever recall having such a moment: free of fear, stress, struggle, anxiety or negative emotion.

Imagine. Not even a single moment. :(

Growing up, well before discovering the art and science of happiness, I remember a handful of moments where I experienced spontaneous, unsolicited happiness. I called these moments Joy Bubbles. They fascinated me because of how expansive and powerful they were, but I never understood how they arose or further more, how to create or sustain them.

Years of studying my own personal happiness and well-being though, led me to discover the root of these Joy Bubbles and, conversely, the root of what caused the other 99% of my life in struggle and quiet suffering.

So what causes our moments of inner happiness?

Enoughness.

You probably already understand that how we feel is directly caused by what we are thinking and believing.

And, if we are not intentionally managing our thinking and believing, our subconscious goes into auto-drive and has us thinking what it has been programmed to activate.

There is a single thought that is over-programmed in our collective belief system that is causing a global experience of scarcity and thus unhappiness: There’s not enough.

It takes many forms.

I’m not enough, it’s not enough, they’re not enough, I don’t have, know, do enough, I need more, even there’s too much (which means there’s not enough of the opposite!)

Recall the last time you felt uneasy or unhappy. See if you can remember what you were thinking or what belief was triggered in that situation. There’s a 99% chance it was a thought about not-enoughness.

Take a moment and read these words… and really mean them:

I am enough.

I always have been and always will be.

I have enough, I do enough, I know enough.

There is enough of all I need and I have enough access to it always.

All is enough.

Did you notice a subtle peace and relaxation wash over you? Relief? A Joy Bubble perhaps?

The tricky part of all this is most of us won‘t believe that “enoughness” is real. We don’t believe that there really is enough for us, for all of us. That we are enough no matter what. The collective story is so deep, so vast, so rampant, we fall back into our default thinking patterns that there isn’t enough.

We get trapped in a cycle of believing in (and reinforcing) the “reality” of lack and scarcity and so, through the divine Law of Attraction, our lives seem never to be enough. This is the root of our unhappiness.

This  is an invitation for you to consider a new belief: what if you are enough just as you are, what if there is enough for you, what if believing these things is the first step to perceiving and experiencing them as the norm in your reality?

Believe it and you WILL see it. When all is enough, we can finally relax into our most profound joy and peace.

Much love and enoughness,

Bec xoxo

PS. If you are interested in learning the skill set that frees you from unhappiness for life, please apply for a free 30-minute Discovery Session with me here.

5 Secrets That Heal Any Relationship

5 Secrets That Heal Any Relationship

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Do you have a relationship that needs some healing?

Are you at your wits end with someone in your family, at your work, in your circle of friends or from the past, perhaps even yourself?

If so, you are not alone.

“Healing a relationship” ranks as one of the top-most-requested desires that clients come into my coaching program to create!

We have all experienced the significant destructive effects that ripple through our lives when we have relationship breakdown:

  • Increased stress and negative emotions (which triggers health issues)
  • Wasted time, energy, attention and money (that could be harnessed for joyous activity instead of interpersonal conflict resolution)
  • Distraction from important life endeavors (like our vocation, creativity, adventuring and wealth creation)
  • Contagious negative fallout effecting those who have to witness our relationship conflicts (including poor modeling and belief-setting for our kids)

…the list goes on.

Addressing and reconciling our broken relationships drastically increases the quality of our day-to-day lives, as well the lives of our loved ones. There’s no better time than today to start learning what you can do to restore peace, harmony and happiness in all your relationships. That’s why I’m disclosing the top most effective relationship-fixing strategies clients learn in my private coaching programs for you, here. These strategies can be applied to ANY relationship – because all relationships are governed by the same energetic principles.

1. Take Radical Personal Responsibility for your Life and Experiences.

Until we decide that we alone are responsible (consciously or not) for every event, occurrence, experience, feeling, and outcome in our reality including our relationships, we have limited power to change our experience of that reality. If we are blaming someone or something else for what’s not working then only that someone or something can fix it. We become victim to forces outside of ourselves and end up ever-waiting for those things to change. Start owning what’s happening 110%, even if it feels counter-intuitive. Start asking, “how am I creating this, even subconsciously, and what can I change within myself to change this?”

2. Prioritize Self Love and Self Care.

Learn how to take care of all your own needs, inside and out – no one is cut out to do this better than you!  Learn how to identify and manage your needs, express and enforce your boundaries and make authentic requests of others without expectation when necessary. Many of us tend to be so focused on other people lives and how their lives are not to our liking, that no one is looking after our lives. Putting your own inner and outer state first raises your personal vibration and allows you to show up feeling full and free in your relationships.

3. Heal your Most Important Relationship.

Our most important relationship is the one we have with our energetic source (aka. Divine Intelligence, Universe, Spirit, God etc.) BECAUSE everything that we have a relationship with, including ourselves, comes from that source. I’m going to assume we all agree that we are each energetic manifestations of some ultimate, infinite energy source. How we relate to that source is how we end up relating to all things and beings. It’s the template for all our relationships. If we don’t have a healthy relationship with that source, it shows up as discord in our relationships across the board. Start asking, “what’s my relationship to source energy like, do I even have one, did I realize how important this is to all my relationships?”

4. Obliterate Expectation, Dependance, Neediness and Attachment.

Once our relationship with source is in accord, we automatically have less expectation from those around us. This is because we more easily turn to source and our own inner self to satisfy what we were previously dependent on others for. Independence gives us an invincibility, a sense of being loved, guided, fulfilled and protected by something much bigger than another human being. We no longer feel alone, needy or attached in our relationships. Instead; freedom, expansiveness and magnetism are the new norm. We have confidence to cut ties in relationships that no longer serve us. And our proverbial tank becomes so full that we can more easily give the surplus of love within us, instead of focusing on what we can get.

5. Acknowledge the Truth about Relationships.

Here’s a truth that has long served me in healing my relationships: every being that we come into contact with is either a teacher or a blessing – every single person, from the homeless person on the street to our closest beloved. We have “an agreement” with each soul we encounter, to provide for each other the exact conditions necessary to learn key aspects of the human condition. Some of us have come to master intimacy, others to master forgiveness or betrayal, yet others, loss. Acknowledging that we, as souls, have designed our own evolutionary path is taking spiritual responsibility for all our experiences and for the whole cast of characters on our path. The outcome is a deep love and gratitude for every single encounter and relationship, both challenging and ease-full. We can view everyone as part of “our team” to help us evolve and grow, including the people who drive us most crazy!

Remember, the health of your relationships is foundational to health in all other areas of your life. Start playing with these 5 Secrets and watch your connections thrive!

To your highest connections,

Bec xo

PS. Find out how the Inspired Living Coaching Program supports you in healing all your relationships for life. Apply for a free 30 min Discovery Session with me here!

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Stay Happy This Summer

5 Ways to Stay Happy This Summer

If you are anything like, me you LOVE summer!

But, you’ve probably noticed summer comes with it’s own happiness challenges:

~ Regular schedules and routines shift or fall by the wayside leaving us a bit wobbly

~ More social gatherings occur, some of which can trigger drama or unhealthy habits

~ The urge to play or travel in the sunshine is strong despite commitments that keep us “busy”

~ The heat slows us down and can zap our energy

As we shift into summer mode, it’s important to make sure we stay on top of our emotional wellness so we can optimize these magical months and create memories to cherish! Here are 5 of the “hottest” ways to stay happy this summer:

1. Love Yourself Up

Flex your self-love muscle to ward off any feelings of “missing out” on adventures or connection. I keep a juicy list of things I can do to fill my own cup posted somewhere I can see it regularly. From “have a bath with fresh lavender,” to “take a 3-day juice cleanse,” my self-love hit list runs the gamut. There’s literally something for any time frame, weather condition or mood for easy reference if I’m feeling restless or in need of an emotional boost.

2. Learn Something New

Play on the edge of your comfort zone and set your sights on a personal development project over the 3 summer months. What have you always wanted to learn, research, explore or get better at? Interested in vegan cooking? Upping your yoga ante? Leverage the weather and longer days if it’s an outdoor activity like hiking or painting plein air. A project will give your summer a satisfying focus and theme that will make it memorable!

3. Make Fresh Connections

Add some new faces to your social connections! Getting to know new people keeps our intimacy faculties well-oiled. And it’s been scientifically proven that connecting with others is one of the major factors of well-being. Is it time to start dating casually? How about reaching out to an acquaintance to get to know her better and have some fun together? Is there an interest group or networking group you’ve been eyeing – go check it out!

4. Create Space

When was the last time you purged your home? Summer is a great time to eliminate unused or unwanted “stuff” from your environment. When we pare down our belongings to only what’s most dear and essential it creates a lightness within us. Simplify your life and create even more space by curbing your consumption of new “stuff!” Space in our environment invites space in our minds and hearts as we have less to attend to and manage. Another good strategy to find inner and outer space is to get into nature as often as possible :)

5. Commit to a Daily Practice

The key to optimizing happiness year round is to have your own daily Personal Energy Management practice. Set aside a sacred 10-30 minute time slot every day and commit to resetting your inner vibration. Your Practice could be as simple as meditating or you can have a sequence of rituals. This summer my morning ritual begins with a 15-minute meditation followed by intention and belief management exercises and is topped of with either yoga or a trail run. Starting my day this way is essential not only to my happiness but to my success in all areas. And remember, it’s ok if we miss a day here and there, the magic happens in recommitting again and again!

To your summer of infinite bliss,

Bec xoxo

PS. Need help and accountability to design and create a life that sustains your Happiness no matter what? Be sure to apply for a free 30 minute Discovery Session with me here and I will show you how:)