Are you going through a big change right now?
The end of a relationship? A move to somewhere new? Embarking on a different career path?
“They” say that the only constant thing is change. And it’s true, change is all around us every day, every second…from rain to sun, from alert to tired, from raw to cooked. Life is change.
And then, there are those BIG changes. The defining ones. This is what I mean when I refer to transitions. They are the changes that change lots of other things all in one blow. And no one is exempt from them!
Often big life transitions can be glorious, especially if we have planned and prepared for them, a marriage, heading to college, starting a new job. But many times transitions simply unfold in life and we get sideswiped by them.
Sometimes they catch us off guard or when we are not “at our best” and that’s when transitions can feel HARD and SCARY. It’s during times like this that we can fall into fear-based actions and ways of being that cause our lives to feel like they are falling apart!
When my marriage failed, I was blindsided. It felt hard and scary. And the hurricane of other changes that came with that could have taken me out, but fortunately I had some tricks up my sleeve. And it’s these tricks that I want to share with you here so that you have them the next time transition sweeps over your life (if it isn’t right now!) you can THRIVE through it!
These 5 steps won’t just help you through the big transitions but they will also help you navigate through the day to day changes that are shape the quality of your life right now …so write these down somewhere and play with them no matter how big the changes in your life are!
1. Change the Meaning of Change
One of the biggest mistakes we make when transition hits is the meaning we give it. Our default is to label change as unwelcome, as dangerous and as something to avoid or brace ourselves for. This comes from the “wiring” in our primal survival brain where any change is perceived as a possible threat! But when we give change that meaning it turns up the volume of fear and stress in our lives and we start acting defensively and sometimes erratically – not for our highest good. Try to see change not as something bad that is happening TO you but rather as an amazing opportunity that is part of your destiny to take you to the next level of your life and success!
2. Look for the Blessing
There is always a blessing, a gift or an opportunity that comes with each change. BUT if you aren’t interested in seeing it you won’t. Ever. Even if it’s obvious to everyone else. ACTIVELY look for the silver lining in EVERY change that you face. Ask yourself: what is good about this? What have I learned or discovered? What am I receiving here?
3. Amp Up Self-Care
It may seem counter-intuitive to take time for yourself when you are in the middle of the storm of change. It may seem like there’s no time, no energy, no support to do anything other than manage the fallout 24/7. But every storm has an eye, a calm and peaceful place where you can rest and nourish. If you are not managing your own inner state and your basic health you will have very little stamina or energy to leverage the opportunity in front of you to grow and become a better version of yourself! Take (even a little) time for stillness, reflection and exercise you will have what it takes to thrive through it!
4. Ask for Help
One of the biggest limiting beliefs out there is that we have to do it alone. And worse yet, that if we don’t, we are flawed or not enough. Truth is: we are not meant to do it alone and we nor our world is built for us to do it alone. Our bodies and brains are designed to function in TOGETHERNESS. Yet we learn the bad habit of isolating, hiding, pretending that we are “good” because we are afraid to be judged or rejected. We are afraid that if we fail others we are not lovable. This is one of the most common limiting beliefs I rewire with clients so they can ask for the help and support they need to thrive through change. Who has gone through the transition you are facing? What person or group is out there that can show you the way through…show you the shortcuts and what potholes to avoid?
5. Connect to Your Higher Power
If you don’t currently have a strong relationship with a higher power, now’s the perfect time. Many of us have fractured views on a higher power so we have opted out of the whole thing. But without a higher power we can only access the limited and finite strength and wisdom within us! It can feel very scary and paralyzing to walk through life without this deeper connection. If necessary define a higher power that works for you, even if you have to design one from scratch that you can fully subscribe to and trust. Then begin a consistent dialogue with that and watch your courage and confidence soar.
The bigger your dreams, the bigger the transitions that will come alongside them. That’s because those transitions are necessary for upgrading you to become who you need to be to step into your dreams! So no shying away from change! When you learn to lean in and navigate transition with ease and confidence you will be able to reach your desires much more quickly and joyfully!
PS. Want to learn more about getting help through a specific transition in your life right now? Apply for a free 30-minute session with me here.